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A Worker in the AIDS Field for sixteen years, Terri Ford Continues to find ways to reenergize her batteries.
From the Trenches by Noël Alumit
Terri Ford’s first job in AIDS was in 1990 cooking part-time at the AIDS Healthcare Foundation’s Chris Brownlie Hospice.
“I did not have aspirations to be a cook!” she says. “I just wanted an easy part-time job while I was in school.”
The job may have been part-time, but it certainly wasn’t easy. “It was a tight group at Brownlie,” she remembers. “Over 1,200 people died at Chris Brownlie Hospice while I was there, and I knew everyone and their families.”
She coped with the grief by kicking in doors, blocking intersections, and getting arrested as part of the activist group ACT UP. “I was full of love at the hospice and rage on the street,” she says. “The two actually balanced each other out nicely. I needed both.”
Regardless, working in AIDS has its breaking point. For Terri, that point came in 1994. “I was in the kitchen at Chris Brownlie and someone came in and told me that this guy, Carlos, had just died. That was it. I had had too much death and loss and pain and I remember I leaned against the wall and just slid down and was sitting on the floor. The staffer asked if I was okay and I wasn’t. I was done. I needed a break—big time. A break from the death.”
Fortunately, AHF had the wherewithal to recognize her burnout. She stopped working in the hospice and started building them. She became project coordinator for the development of Linn House, a state of the art hospice care facility for AHF. From there, she became director of testing and prevention programs, then director of advocacy. Currently, she’s director of international advocacy working with a global team combating AIDS. She’s traveled and worked all over the world, including Thailand, Vietnam, and Spain.
Having worked in AIDS for as long as she has, she’s come up with a recipe of taking care of herself: “I try to balance my work with lots of socializing and art and movies and life. I have a great house and loving dog and, most importantly, an incredible circle of friends and family who support me in my work and in life. Can’t make it without that. I also have a wonderful group of colleagues on our global team and we support each other.”
She makes time for other things. Her favorite getaway is New York City, particularly in winter. She walks her dog, Max. She lives in a hilly neighborhood where every walk is good exercise. She adds, “A few years ago I was really going down a workaholic road and it ruined my personal relationships. So I decided time for my family and friends was a priority. I really try to do that. I’m much happier and can give back at work much more effectively.”
If you’re suffering from burnout, Terri offered, “Try to stay aware of how much you can take—and how much you can give. You don’t have to be a saint—I am certainly not one. It’s okay to take a break and remember that we are in this for the long haul. For the long haul we all need our mental health.”
Nothing enlivens her more than Africa, a place her job has taken her to and a place she’s passionate about. “When I am there I often feel like I belong there, like I could sell my house and stay there and work,” she said. “We are determined to particularly save mothers—if you save one single mother who has six kids you have just avoided six more orphans. There should be an all-out effort to save mothers and families.”
When asked if she had any final advice for those still toiling in the field, Ms. Ford replied, “You need to find in yourself why you are doing this work. That has helped me overcome times, which are seldom, when I have been so frustrated with work or coworkers that I have wanted to quit. I didn’t, because I remembered that I am not doing any of this for them or any one person—and so the petty differences become insignificant. I try to remember that I may be able to help contribute to a child keeping her mother. That may sound hokey—but it’s the truth. The work we all do is so important that it surpasses silly squabbles. We are so lucky to have all that we have when so many people suffer and struggle everyday—this fact gives me freedom to be grateful for my life.”
Noël Alumit wrote the novel Letters to Montgomery Clift; Talking to the Moon, his second novel, is forthcoming. He has been published in USA Today, The Advocate, OutTraveler, and others. He works for the Asian Pacific AIDS Intervention Team (APAIT) and maintains a literary blog: www.thelastnoel.blogspot.com.
January 2006 |
