Poetry
by Vanessa Clark

A Prussian History

You are not someone I’ve met
or ever will
yet we are connected by blood and history.
You told your daughters
no sex
do this do that
one must über alles get married first.
You told your daughter
who told her daughter
who told me
and here I am:
age 35
without kids of my own (yet)
HIV+
because I did not adhere to the family legacy.
What I think is that this legacy is bullshit
I am here to discontinue its use.
Perhaps way back when
you were doing the best for your children
as my grandma did for my mom
as my mom did for me
perhaps.
This is what I’d like to think.
If we met
–somewhere in the stars–
you’d judge me harshly.
If we ever met, I hope you’d forgive me and I you.
When did this start?
What will I do to my kids?
A legacy goes in both directions.

Vanessa Clark is a writer living in San Francisco. She has worked in the HIV/AIDS field on and off for ten years, with a focus on youth issues. She is currently writing and producing the play In Our Names, which will run this fall in San Francisco at the Exit Theater. She has been HIV-positive since 1990 and thanks all her friends for their support.