Father Stan Sloan
By Ruby Comer

My kind of town, Chicago is…I’m humming this classic Frank Sinatra tune as I sashay with luggage in tow into the whimsical, state-of-the-art W Hotel on Lake Shore Drive. Unbelievable, but this is my introduction to the famous Windy City (nicknamed because of politicians’ flappin’ jaws, not because of the wind off the lake, as most people believe). As the days pass in this charming city, I begin to understand it’s addictiveness: a colorful infusion of flowers along Michigan Avenue, Sears Tower, Millennium Park (Frank Gehry’s newest project), The Art Institute (Seurat’s A Sunday on La Grande Jatte), and Second City. On this lovely cloudy-sunny spring Sunday, I catch Chicago Architecture Foundation’s River Cruise, which navigates the Chicago River. Our docent is humorously informative and reveals some eye-popping historical information—and so does the man seated next to me! I flirt a bit with him until I find out that he’s taken. Drats!

Father Stan Sloan, forty-one and a Texas native, is CEO of Chicago House, an organization which provides housing for individuals and families devastated by AIDS. For nearly fifteen years, he has been an Episcopal priest, and presently lives with Tom Franklin, his partner of three years. Father Sloan takes an active role in Chicago House, working in management and fundraising. He has been with the agency for almost five years, and Chicago House has won many awards, including the City of Chicago’s Award of Excellence in AIDS Service.

As the boat steers past the IBM Building and Marina City, Father Stan and I become friendly.

Ruby Comer: Say, aren’t those two spiral sixties-ish style towers featured in the opening credits of that TV sitcom, The Bob Newhart Show? I’d recognize those anywhere!

You bet. What a delightful tour, huh?

Oh, yes. I’m learning so much. Now let me learn more about you, Father Sloan [I say with an embarrassing giggle]. What motivated you to enter the religious order?

Father Stan Sloan: Please call me Stan, Ruby. I’ve always been spiritual, even as a kid. Right out of college I took a corporate job and, on the side, volunteered with a youth group. I found that I was interested [he chuckles] in helping people way more than working in the business world. So I went to the Catholic seminary even though I had a boyfriend at the time. I liked it, and served as a priest for about five years until I got to a point where I became disgruntled with Catholic beliefs.

I always wanted to be a nun ever since I saw The Sound of Music. Stan, what does AIDS mean to you?

It’s many things. [He ponders.] In Africa, it’s devastation. Here, it’s a struggle. [A few drops of rain sprinkle us.] That’s a really good question. It’s a struggle for health, a struggle against prejudice, a struggle for relationships, and a struggle for those of us who are working in the field. But it’s not hopeless for us here as it is in Third World countries. Like it says on our Web site, “We are at the end of the beginning of the AIDS epidemic, not the beginning of the end.”

Nicely stated. The cocktails tend to fool people into a false sense of security. Unfortunately, we have a long way to go for a cure. Have you lost anyone to AIDS?

Yes, friends and residents who became my friends. Many people.

How do you deal with that loss?

I don’t know if you’ve ever read When Bad Things Happen To Good People by Rabbi Kuschner, but he’s an open-minded theologian who’s take on death and tragedy is up to the individual; you have a choice. You can either allow Satan to win by allowing the situation to depress and fill you with pain, or you can see the deceased as God’s martyr and allow their spirit to live on in you. To bring what was important to them forward so that they continue to be a living presence in the world. We really try to emphasize that philosophy here at Chicago House.

What is your take on the afterlife?

[He stumbles.] I never talk about it, and I honestly don’t care about it. Too much of religion is focused on trying to save your soul for some other world and I think a much better philosophy is to try and make this world a better place. And, hopefully, in the process, you save your soul; and if there’s an afterlife, all the better. Live to the fullest here; don’t be at all concerned about what’s next because we’ve got no control over that anyway.

Live Life! [We toast our fists.] What is your opinion of the Catholic Church nowadays?

I think it’s tragic that an institution that is capable of doing so much good—and that does do so much good—is also capable of harming so many people.  In particular, with issues of gender, sex, and sexuality, their views are so harmful to the human spirit. They’re harmful with their views on condoms and birth control.  The Catholic Church gets away with too much and people tend to dismiss its beliefs instead of taking a good look at them. 

[“And on the left is the 1908 Fulton House by Frank Abbott,” says the guide.] Plain, simple but unique design, huh?  [Stan nods as he looks it over.] Who is your favorite Saint of all time, Stan?

My middle name is Jude, and he is the Patron Saint of Lost Causes. He’s always been important for me. I think that says it all.

If you live in or will be visiting the Chicago area, check out Chicago House’s Eleventh Annual Birdhouse Auction and Cocktail Party on June 23 at the Museum of Contemporary Art. For more information, visit www.chicagohouse.org.

Ruby Comer is an independent journalist from the Midwest who is happy to call Hollywood her home away from home. Reach her by e-mail at MsRubyComer@aol.com.

May 2005