Steven Fales/Solvang

Since I couldn’t fit Denmark into my Scandinavian tour, I motor up the California coast with my sister, Sister Mary of the Order of Our Lady of Perpetual Pity, to Solvang, a quaint Danish village just north of Santa Barbara. Located in the picturesque Santa Ynez Valley, it’s the former home to Michael Jackson’s Neverland (he recently sold it), the endearing film Sideways, and ER’s cutie-pie doctor, Noah Wyle. The tranquility of the rolling hills and graceful trees is blissfully enhanced by lavender fields, horse ranches, and grazing bovine. Can a raging Hollywood Queen be happy here? Only if I can get some sweaty, local he-man to run au naturel with me through the vineyards!

We camp at the charming European boutique-style Solvang Gardens Lodge. It was built in the style of a Danish farmhouse, and the grounds are enhanced by ponds, fountains, flowers, and fruit trees. It even has a spa, of which your journalist takes full advantage. The owner, Paul Navaratil, and his wife, Diana, frequently donate to AIDS charities, and Paul and I instantaneously strike a bond discovering that both of us have Czech bloodlines.

The next late morn, Sister Mary and I head over to Kalyra Winery, one of the film locales for Sideways. How could anyone forget Stephanie’s (Sandra Oh, A&U, September 2005) response to masher Jack’s (Thomas Haden Church) pick-up line, “You are a bad, bad girl, Stephanie.” She counters, “I know. I need to be spanked.” Sipping Sauvignon Blanc next to me is an incredible actor, Steven Fales, thirty-six, who I recently saw in Los Angeles in the award-winning solo show, Confessions of a Mormon Boy. The self-penned autobiographical show chronicles his extreme life, from Mormon husband and father in Salt Lake City to a drug-addicted “whore” in New York. Reformed and evolved, he’s now an actor, a celebrity (appeared on The Tyra Banks Show), a writer and humanitarian. Over the past few years, Steven has raised hundreds-of-thousands of dollars for various charities, including substance abuse recovery, youth, and AIDS. Most recently, he created a foundation to help sex workers transition to other jobs. We chat while sampling the grapes.

Ruby Comer: What a moving and inspirational tale you tell in your show, Steven. I was enraptured. [He smiles, eyes twinkling.] And ironically, you are the former son-in-law of Carol Lynn Pearson who wrote Goodbye, I Love You, that tells of Gerald, her gay Mormon husband who died of AIDS in 1984.
Steven Fales: Yes, and in a way, I feel really connected to him. I never got to meet Gerald, but I feel that I am telling his story that he never got to tell. There’s definitely a synchronicity here.

Certainly. Steven, you fought so traumatically hard to not be yourself. You even went through reparative therapy in hopes of saving your marriage. You were then excommunicated from the Mormon Church. But, honey, once you accepted yourself, you flung open those closet doors with glee! You moved to New York and became a high-class callboy using your “Mormon boy charm”—as you so eloquently state in your play. Did you use condoms during that time and did you get tested?
I played safe with clients, including no substance abuse when I worked, but I was out of control with sex and drugs in my personal life. I got tested in the summer of 2001, after all my escorting. I was very nervous. [He sighs.] I was negative.

Do you play safely now?
Well, right now I’m celibate. I use my sexual energy in my work and, currently, my creativity is really percolating. Besides, I’m so busy. I’m presently reevaluating. The only worse thing than being an escort is a trophy fuck [he giggles then meticulously sips a taste of Cabernet Franc.] I’d like to have sex within a relationship. I recently got tested and was still negative.

Tell me about your foundation for sex workers.
To make it clear, I’m not trying to make sex work wrong or to do away with the sex industry. What this is about is helping sex workers transition out of the business, because there is this idea that “once a whore always a whore, so I can’t have my dream.” I want people to go into the business more informed about the psychological, spiritual, and emotional costs. And I think there is a time in a sex worker’s life where it may be time to move on.

And it’s time for us to move on, as we are becoming über-sloshed. Sister Mary and I invite Steven to lunch at the delightful Asian eatery, Mandarin Touch, in downtown Solvang. Afterward, the three of us walk across the street to Solvang Bakery. I buy a Bundt cake to-go while Steven gets several donut holes. In the meantime, Sister Mary can’t wait. She downs several pastries, OD’s, and slumps into a sugar coma. We practically carry her back to Solvang Gardens Lodge and then Steven and I drive over to Quicksilver Ranch, home to miniature horses. Once there, we discover recent newborns. They are ever so adorable. Holy Lordie, there are dogs bigger than these animals! Steven and I sit under a tree and gaily watch the horses romp.

I just want to say kudos for establishing the sex workers organization. We need to protect all human beings. Have you lost anyone to AIDS?
You know, I fell in love with a guy who died a year ago. He had lesions all over his body. I was in San Diego doing my play and I met this man who was a gorgeous hunk: football type, blonde, blue-eyed, and a huge spirit. I liked him, but we didn’t have sex. He died about a year later while I was performing in New York. This was the first time in my life that I had anyone close to me die of AIDS.

How will you approach prevention with your kids?
Being honest about what I’ve been through will back up what happened to their grandfather [Gerald, his ex-wife’s father who died of AIDS]. I also wrote the show for my children as I was afraid that I would die of AIDS. My son is eleven and my daughter is nine. My wife’s sister died of complications from AIDS [she contracted HIV from a man she was seeing], so AIDS has been a part of my kid’s lives. As they get older, I will stress how important it is to use condoms, to get tested, and to openly discuss HIV with the person you’re having a relationship with. And I know Emily, their mother, will also support this.

You talk about addiction in your show. How long have you been sober?
I’ve been in recovery for three years. We don’t want to believe that we have addiction in the gay community, but it is out there. And our addiction to sex, drugs, and alcohol, I think, is one of the reasons why we are still contracting HIV. It’s not popular to take a look at that because it’s been used against us. [Steven is revved. The veins in his sexy, muscular neck quiver.] But we need to really be honest. When I look at my awakening of gay adolescence and see how many sex partners and how many drugs I never intended to do—it’s astounding! It’s knee-buckling, and it’s very uncomfortable. But something inside says, “You’ve got to change.” [A foal comes to the fence a few yards away. Steven rises.] And I’ll go even further. A lot of us are doing drugs because of how bad we feel about ourselves….[His voice fades as he wanders over to pet the pony.]

For more information log on to Web sites: www.mormonboy.com and www.lifeaftersexwork.com.

Ruby Comer is an independent journalist from the Midwest who is happy to call Hollywood her home away from home. Reach her by e-mail at MsRubyComer@aol.com.

June 2007