Ruby's Rap

by Ruby Comer

Carl Ng

This tale is worthy of Ripley’s Believe It or Not! While in Hong Kong, on the final leg of my Asian lecture tour, I’m sweatin’ up a storm on the treadmill in the spa of the chic-chic and oh-so-historic Peninsula Hong Kong (in the early seventies, a James Bond movie was filmed here). Nearby, I eye a hot man on the cover of a travel magazine. I dismount and fetch it. No sooner do I leap back onto the elliptical and begin reading when I glance into the mirror at the bench press and see…him. Couldn’t be. I do a double take. Damned if it ain’t. Now you know, I have a weakness for frozen yogurt and Asian men! In due course, the coverman and I meet up in the swimming pool and—lucky me—he speaks English.

Coverman Carl Ng is an actor (stage: Privates on Parade; film: Lemon Crush, Color Blossoms) and model (Reebok, Levi’s, Samsung) who was raised in Hong Kong and studied dramatic arts in London. The man seems to be in constant demand, as he just has finished several Chinese films, and has an upcoming spread in an American magazine. For a while he took a hiatus from ShoBiz and lived on a boat working as a dive master in a Thai marine reserve. Carl has been involved with many AIDS benefits. In fact, while Carl was in London he participated in a production of Elegies, the proceeds going to a local AIDS center. (“This show was most enjoyable, and the cosmopolitan cast was fantastically united and supportive. I will never forget this production.”) Now living back in Hong Kong, Carl works with the Society for AIDS Care, promoting its Give and Let Live T-shirts. Carl is an unrelenting advocate when it comes to spreading the word on safe sex.

After an invigorating swim together (Carl’s even sexier in Speedos!), we huddle on corner-wrap chaise lounges, enveloped in bulky white towels, and chat.

Ruby Comer: Carl, I still can’t get over our chance meeting. [With his towel, he dabs water from my forehead.]

Carl Ng: Lucky me, Ruby.

Ahh…thank you [stumbling, I try to keep my wits about me]. Carl, has AIDS affected you personally?

Yes, when I was nine, my sister’s friend—one of the kindest and most compassionate people I ever met—died of AIDS. I watched his journey to the end. A few years later, I had a teacher who passed away. Close friends knew he had AIDS, but it was never really discussed. Unfortunately, due to the stigma attached to the disease at that time, he quietly moved away and isolated himself.

Oh, how heartbreaking. Just what does AIDS mean to you, Carl?

There are misconceptions about AIDS, and society is underestimating its global impact. On the other hand, I witness Good Samaritans trying to breakdown these misconceptions and fight this life-threatening disease.  I find this refreshing.  Sometimes tragedy can help people unite.

You said to me while in the pool that you “encourage public awareness about AIDS.” Exactly what do you mean?

Whenever I hear ignorant remarks or a laissez-faire attitude toward AIDS, I get antsy and inform them otherwise.

You’re my kind of man. Have you lost anyone close to you not from AIDS?  If so, how do you deal with the grief? 

I prefer not to answer this.

Cool, Carl. So what do you think happens after we die?

I believe that we live in a world of finite resources and energy, and that reincarnation in one shape, or another, is inevitable. Our physical beings are just vehicles for our spirits. I also believe that in one lifetime we can be born many times, allowing ourselves to change the world through our own eyes. From my experiences, I try and look on death as a great passage -- a moment of glory and birth.

Yes, I tend to agree, but the key word for me here is, as you said, “I try.”  Sometimes it’s difficult.  Unfortunately, Carl, many of our youth are being infected with HIV. Any idea how we can reach these kids?

Another organization that I work with is a teen support group that holds workshops in schools on various topics including safe sex. Typically, in Hong Kong, sex is not likely to be talked about in schools and far less likely to be discussed at the family dinner table. While many teens and young adults are pressured to be sexually active by the media and their own peers, unfortunately they are not told about the dangers of unsafe sex. The stubbornness or embarrassment about discussing this topic probably exists in the States, as well, as it is with other issues like drug abuse, violence, and family abuse. The underlying problem is a failure to communicate. So having a network of older, trained teens to provide peer support through workshops held in a casual, nonacademic environment is very efficient. (Carl sits up and strips off the towel.) As the family unit diminishes it will become society’s responsibility to educate on these matters.

Very well said, Sir! By the way, is there any special meaning to that large lotus tattoo on your thigh?

The lotus is considered a divine and pure symbol.  Even though they grow in muddy water, the lotus flower maintains it’s own substance and is unaffected by its surroundings.

Oh, I like that!  Say, Mister, do you wear condoms during sex?  [I’m not inching toward any agenda here, am I?!]

But of course, Ruby

Ahh, are you presently involved with anyone romantically?

Must you ask? [He shoots a sly grin my way and I melt.]

With that, Carl rises and walks toward the pool leaving his towel behind. He looks back at me and, from that chiseled face, shoots a sly grin, winks one of those big browns, then dives in. I follow, and we splish-splash together. Afterward, we head to the showers—separately. (Ah, nuts…! Oh, I’m so naughty.) We reconvene in the Peninsula’s majestic lobby for some “high tea” and scrumptious scones, serenaded by a live string band. Now I know the Peninsula is referred to as the Grande Dame of the Far East, but, honey, today I’m the Grande Dame of Carl Ng. (Shhhh, don’t tell my firefighter fiancé, Rudy. Let a girl have her fantasy!)

For more information about The Society for AIDS Care, log on to www.aidscare.com.hk.

Ruby Comer is an independent journalist from the Midwest who is happy to call Hollywood her home away from home. Reach her by e-mail at MsRubyComer@aol.com.

February 2006