Charles Phoenix

Feh! These reality shows make Ms. Ruby’s tits hit the ground floor! Why are they so popular? After all, the term “reality” is a misnomer. Anytime you shove a lens in someone’s puss their behavior changes. But, of course, when something sells on American television, the market is flooded with imitations. Geez, how many reality shows do we now have on the tube? Too many! So if you’re fed up with these faux shows, try the real thing—Charles Phoenix’s Retro Slide Show.

Charles Phoenix, forty-one, is an absolute maven of mid-twentieth-century design and American culture. Seven years ago, this historian created a new medium of nostalgia by presenting his collection of vintage slides in an intimate theater, adding humorous, insightful, and often touching commentary. He owns over 300,000 slides and is the author of several books, some of which celebrate such locales as Hawaii, Las Vegas, and southern California. He’s also tour guide on his frequent “School Bus Field Trip” that covers various parts of urban Los Angeles.

Since Charles lives in my neighborhood of Silver Lake, we often bump into one another. Today, as I walk down Hyperion Boulevard painting on my bee-stung lips, I spot him coming toward me.

Ruby Comer: Hi, Snookums!

Charles Phoenix: Oh, hey Ruby [he flashes that infectious grin].

Ya on the hunt for more treasures, boy?! Listen, I’m having a Tupperware party this weekend; proceeds go toward an AIDS charity and I’d love to have you come.

Oh, I would but I’m booked with shows then. But I’d like to help out financially.

Thanks, Charles. Say, we’ve never really discussed this, but tell me your involvement with the AIDS community. [We meander a few steps over to the Vista Theatre and snuggle into the alcove.]

I really haven’t done that much. For years, though, I used to be a member of Great Autos of Yesteryear and every year we’d do a fundraiser. [He strains his neck to read the marquee that says The Phantom of the Opera.] I’ve lost many friends and I have friends who are HIV-positive. Many.

How do you deal with the grief?

Ruby, there are no guarantees in life. You know, we’re very delicate creatures, but I’m an overly optimistic person [he says in his deep, soothing, reassuring voice]. I’m, like, a major Pollyanna. I embrace every day and try not to have negative thoughts about other people. I like to spread joy through my work. I know this all sounds so corny, but it’s true.

Hey, I’m a Midwestern gal; I like corn, Charles. What happens after we die?

[He ponders as he eyes a nearby antique shop.] I don’t know.

Aw shucks, I was hopin’ you’d clue me in! What does AIDS mean to you?

Wow, good question, Ruby. It’s different today than it was ten years ago. It’s no longer a death sentence, though it’s still an epidemic. I lump AIDS with other horrific diseases such as cancer, diabetes, and so on. Life is temporary and we are all in the same boat. So we need to respect one another, help one another, and love one another.

Perfectly stated. Being a connoisseur on pop culture, let’s play the “Fav Game.” What is your favorite…?

Classic car? 1959 copper on copper Plymouth Sport Fury.

TV sitcom? I Love Lucy! [He shouts it like there could be no other answer.]

Movie? The Aviator.

Actor? Barbra Streisand.

Color? Blue-green hues. I’m a color freak, ya know.

Hairdo? The bouffant, of course. And speaking of ’dos, I like yours. It’s a little

bit retro.

Why, thank you, I think....And thanks for this impromptu. I must run and get some mixed nuts for my party. Ta-ta for now.

To receive a retro slide from Charles’ collection in your e-mail every week, along with his snappy, informative commentary, sign up at his Web site: www.godblessamericana.com. Also, catch his performance at the Ford Amphitheater in Hollywood, California, on June 16.

Ruby Comer is an independent journalist from the Midwest who is happy to call Hollywood her home away from home. Reach her by e-mail at MsRubyComer@aol.com.

February 2005